Razor Burn

Hello, my name is Heather. I suffer from a rarely talked about but common disorder and I’m hoping to shed some light on the subject to inform women and men everywhere that it is ok to speak.This disorder has taken over my life and I have just learned how to get it back. I have Hairy Leg Disorder. 

It all started when I was a chubby, insecure, awkward tween, who so desperately wanted to become a woman, who gawked at all the lotions and perfumes and grown-up things that my mom used, to make herself a “woman”. Amongst those things were a razor and shaving gel. My mother instructed me to stay away from those murderous blades like it was the plague because I might cut myself and get hurt. This is when I chose to take a different, safer, route. Scissors.Those blades wouldn’t come in contact with my skin, just the hair on my legs. It was a perfect idea that no woman has ever thought of. I was certain I would become a millionaire by the time I was 13 with this discovery. That is, until my mom realized what I was doing and immediately instructed me to stop. She always ruined my genius ideas. With these instructions though, she gave me the permission to shave my legs. I was now able to become a woman.

The first time I had attempted to shave, my mother’s warnings proved to be true. It looked like a battle field. Blood everywhere. My legs were so infested with hair that I had to push down with much force in order to get the job done. Now, looking back, I probably had a cheap razor. With this first attempt to womanize myself, I automatically assumed that I knew exactly what I was doing, so I continued to shave my legs with the strength that I had used before. Eventually, my mom changed out that dull razor and shaving growingly became a much undesirable task. Each session became further and further apart. This is also the time that I banished shorts from my wardrobe. By the time I was sixteen, I had many concerning talks with my family about the fact that I always had hairy legs. I blamed it on the shaving gel not working well enough to prevent razor burn. My brother and his girlfriend even went far enough to buy me a razor with soap attached to it for Christmas to ensure that I had enough, lubrication, if you will.

Years went by and with great effort to find shaving gel suitable enough to get the job done without any pain, I convinced myself that the pores on my legs were abnormally large, and simply could not be freshly shaved every day. Soon, I had met the love of my life. He quickly became my best friend and someone I could freely talk to about anything. Of course, the subject of my hairy legs would come up and I would give him the same excuse I gave everybody else, but deep down I knew that he deserved a woman with silky smooth legs on a daily basis, so once again I gave it another attempt.

While I was getting ready to attack my legs like a ninja, I had an epiphany.  A flashback of a razor commercial with a beautiful woman in a spotless bathroom, bubble bath drawn, and a vision of her caressing her legs with the razor. Ever so slightly, she glided that razor across her legs. I had always thought that those actresses were instructed to use the razor like that to show the elegance and beauty of shaving. I would spit at the TV in my mind. But just then, I decided to pick up the razor like it was a delicate flower, and with very little force, glide it across my skin.  To my amazement, I didn’t have any razor burn afterwards.

Hello, my name is Heather. I am 24 years old and have just recently learned how to shave my legs. I had suffered from Hairy Leg Disorder for many years. I have been free'd of this disorder for over a month now...and yes, my significant other is a very happy man. For all of those mothers out there with tweens, please, for the sake of all socially guided man-kind, take a moment to go over the proper ways to shave your legs. You don’t want your child to end up like me.  On the other hand, I might be the only person in this world who stubbornly went on for 10+ years thinking that all hope was lost because she didn’t have enough common sense to know how to shave her legs. Gosh, I hope that’s not the case….